Every once in awhile I’ll leave the comforts of my home (#HotelPrius) and venture out, exploring new and sometimes familiar sleeping arrangements. With everything I need to survive in the overhead Thule suitcase above my head, what I call my attic, there is sometimes no reason not to branch out and sleep somewhere different. And no, I’m not taking about hotels.
As of today, I’m headed west, still undecided as to where I am going or what I plan to do. Not to be all cliche on you, but…
It really is about the journey and not my destination.
As mentioned before this trip is my therapy, my medicine, my…dare I say it… rehab. You see, over the last several months I’ve had utter and complete control over my life. In January of 2016, I started a company called #HomeIsHowYouBuildIt specializing in custom renovations and conversions for vans, campers, school buses, and other small homes on wheels. I’ve been busy. I’ve had no time for a vacation or even the time to remind myself I need one. The whole new adventure has been very similar to climbing a mountain, up and down. It’s been enjoyable and exhausting, both creatively rewarding and character challenging. It’s also been completely controlled. Down to every detail. From the slightly OCD organized garage of tools to every cut, cabinet, drawer and dimension, all under my deliberate and all-knowing eye and hand. I governed it all and to my own demise, my life began to govern me. I would wake up knowing exactly what I wanted to do and accomplish for the day, and I would do it. Exactly as planned. I knew what package would be arriving, whom would come over and when work would stop. I managed three employees whom I unknowingly conditioned to come to me with every decision that needed to be made. In short: I became a control freak. As a result, my relationships, my creativity, my character suffered. I created a false world in which I became king and Efficiency and productivity became the god I served.
I started to notice this becoming a problem only after my 105th argument with the people around me. Not just with the team but also with the clients. I was called out by friends but refused to compromise. The control I had in my life led to a unwavering sense of entitlement and need to constantly have my way. With a healthy desire to change bad habits and become the opposite of the person I was becoming, I knew something had to change. The voice of an old wise house-parent growing up in children’s homes, echoed in my head.
“Keep doing what you are doing, you will keep getting what you are getting.”
And so here we are…
There is something very primordial about sleeping in a cave. I’ve slept here before, so this is nothing new. The first time was with a long time girlfriend, the most memorable was with my adopted little brother and sick sister who contracted “Montezuma Revenge” by accidentally swallowing the water from the Rio earlier in the day. Despite the now composted piles of little sisters diarrhea memories scattered across the desert, it has still become one of my favorite places in all of Texas.
I’m sure you can see why.