Believe it or not, keeping up with my blog is like pulling teeth for me. I started this blog with the idea that I would document the days and write about my experiences on the road and as I wake up from place to place. I am officially over a full year in now and I’m not even close to the amount of material I expected to have together. Many of my pictures and “almost blog posts” are sitting in a file on my computer waiting to be finished or edited. Being a perfectionist is definitely part of it, and wrestling with what I want to share with you is also what keeps me from posting when I feel I should. Mostly however, my lack of material on my blog after a full year is due to the fact that I don’t really enjoy writing very much. If anything, I like more what I have written. When the words look and sound better on the page than they do in my head, I like this feeling, but sitting down to write just stresses me out. I’m often grumpy, not in the mood or have absolutely zero material or inspiration to write most of the time. More often than not I find something to get distracted by and never write a word. Other times I somehow muster the courage to show up and force myself to push through the grump. Sure writing has its great moments on occasion. The moments where the words flow and the fingers follow. But the majority of the time I stumble through the keyboard and struggle with spelling. I get frustrated and move on to Facebook or Instragam or play a game on my phone. In these moments, sitting down to write is the last thing I want to do. I think what else it is, is taking the time to organize my thoughts. This is the hardest part of the process for me. It takes an exuberant amount of effort and energy that I don’t always believe I have. Communicating I feel is one of my stronger gifts, but organizing them into a structured and linear format for the page is perhaps where I struggle the most. Add the fact I suck at spelling and I feel no one actually reads my blog anyway, all give good reason to why I don’t want to write and give excuses for why my blog isn’t updated. Excuses mostly, but nonetheless, a blog is very, very hard to maintain.